As I sit here staring at the computer screen, there are so many thoughts and worries that come upon me. The kind of thoughts and worries that scare me..the what ifs..whats after this life...the world my daughter will grow up in, and as well for my future child. If there is really love out there..the kind that is in fairy tales. But the most heartbreaking for me is the fact there is a little girl the same age just a year and a few months older than my daughter...that is fighting for her life.It tears me to pieces to think that this could happen to my children..that I could lose my daughter. Its a parents worst nightmare coming true that their child is suffering and is given only a small amount of time left on this world and you have to spend it in a hospital. that your daughter has to be on high meds for her to be happy and function.
I just dont understand why these things are handed to not only us as adults, but children at their young ages. Its something I dont believe anyone let alone children should have to deal with and fight against just to stay alive. You know ive heard the phrase over and over again, that god wont give us anything that we cant handle..but how can that be true? Parents in this world are losing their children, loved ones are losing those whom are fighting for our country and others are facing mulitple issues cancer, losing their homes etc...and the circle never ends. How can we as humans possibly deal with all of that? I believe personally that we are dealt with more than we can handle..and at times we lose it, we pull away just wanting to escape from it.Where as at other times, we put on that fake smile and face act like we are ok , when really its killing us inside.
Im beginning to realize more and more that this is the world , and these are the things I dont want my children to have to deal with, let alone anyone. For not only are there the problems I mentioned above, but then comes the violence, and all the other bad things that have happened not only in america but in other countries as well. Its sickening just to think that this may never end, and it could actually get worse as time goes on..then what happens... There comes a point in life where we arent able to protect the ones that we love from harm etc, and thats the worst feeling in the world.something ive felt way to often. The feeling of hopelessness, feeling alone and hurt because we couldnt do anything to help- whether it be a family member, friend or just to help make a change in general.
I want to make a change in this world, a change for the better..to help not only me, my family, friends..but others out there whom feel the same way, or to those whom are suffering. The major change..i want to help is with childhood cancer. Its something that is close to my heart not only because Im recently in remission with my cancer, but because no child should have to deal with that at any age. To read that little delaney has picked out her grave site, and her casket..hit hard. I mean how wouldnt that touch anyones heart, her story or any other childs story? If you are lost about what Im talking about go to facebook.com and search prayers for delaney...though shes recently passed away...rip sweet angel
well im going to get going..for i keep breaking down just thinking about all this..maybe its the hormones with my body going back to normal since the pregnancy...but its also how i feel. How do you feel about these things? What hits hard for you when it comes to issues?
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